guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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