I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
