yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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