thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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