For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
