Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
