you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
