Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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