just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
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