She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
