i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
