There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
