Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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