apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
