So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Randomize
