This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
