my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
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Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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