C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
