how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
