i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
