Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
