The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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