i don't like sucking hair
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
