So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
