Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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