you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she peed on how many people?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
