just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
