the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
