Dual....:-)
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
