We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
