I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
