I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My dick has a subreddit
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
