This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
