Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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