nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You're completely useless in the revolution.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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