porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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