Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
