matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
