He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
