if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
