my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The best revenge is premature balding
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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