Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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