woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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