some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
