Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
