Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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