I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
