i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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