Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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