My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
