If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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