I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
