Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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