I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
