I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
