the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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