Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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