Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
