I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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