I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
