Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
